Pope admits to have been "faking mass" for years!

THE DAILY GUANO

POPE ADMITS TO HAVE BEEN "FAKING MASS" FOR YEARS!

The news comes as Pope Francis announces

he is auditioning for the lead role in a remake

of the children's classic "Home Alone".

Pope Francis has recently admitted, in an interview with Hello! magazine, that for the past 16 years he has been "faking mass".

"To be honest," said the Pope, in the stark interview, "the excitement had gone from the relationship a long time ago, and I found myself just going through the paces. It's not that I don't love the congregation. They were doing their best, and I didn't want to disappoint them, but it was the only way I could bring the whole lackluster affair to a conclusion most of the time."

The Lord's representative on Earth went on to say, "There were many reasons why I would fake it, though. Sometimes it was because I was tired and I just wanted it to be over. Other times I'd been at the communion wine before hand, and would just get lost in the moment and the theatrics. Most of the time though, I really liked them and didn't want them to feel like they were doing anything wrong, so I would just fake it to make them happy."

The Pope further defended his actions, stating, "I'm on old man. I couldn't be expected to perform every time the congregation needed their fix. After a while, it became habit. But, quite frankly, I'm amazed I even have the energy to fake it. And I'll bet the congregation wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway."

The latest news has sent shock waves through the Catholic church, with many congregations asking themselves if their priest has been faking it all this time as well.
A spokesperson for the Vatican flipped me the bird when I asked them to comment on the matter.

Have you had liturgical problems with your religious leaders? Look out next week for 10 ways to spot if your priest is faking mass....

Freeanergy Caught Cherry Picking Data And Lying Through Their Teeth

A video response to Flat Earth proponent "Freeanergy", who claims that flight plans from Cape Town to Aukland and Sydney to Rio prove a Flat Earth.

Unfortunately for them, a simple search found flight plans that were more direct than the ones they chose to provide - and that cut their travel times almost in half.

Music:

Bach - Violin Sonata in B Minor

Beacon Of Centauri 8

The views of Rabbi Meir are certainly consistent with the views of most of the world’s major religions. Years before the discovery, many religious authorities had begun seriously debating what ETI would mean for them. Not surprisingly, the Dalai Lama blessed SETI. Hindus also had very little problem with the idea. These were faiths that had no interest in a creation story set just around Man and Earth, but rather one that would happily envelope any form of intelligent life in the universe. Most religious leaders had become used to the debate of Life outside the solar system, and even encouraged their believers that if it did exist, it would have no negative impact upon their scriptures.

The main group that came under threat from the evidence were Young-Earth Creationists, who had always held that the Earth was 6000 years old, and humanity was unique. Some Creationists were quick to adopt the view of the more mainstream Protestant Churches, that God would be present in the lives of ETI. However, some groups held beliefs that could not be ratified with the evidence before them. Several churches around the world decried the revelation as a hoax, aimed at them. Some believed that the scientific community had misinterpreted their findings. A very small number even believed that the Aliens were either angels or demons, and that the end was near, and began shutting away their communities. In the more extreme cases, attacks were planned on various astronomical observatories. It seemed to many that Creationism was becoming unstuck, and that these groups were fighting with their last breath to destroy any evidence that would demolish their beliefs.

Perhaps most memorable, and most tragic, was the student protest at the University of Texas at El Paso.

A major Nationwide student protest was organised in the USA, flying the banner of Creationism. Over 60 Creationist universities and colleges staged a week long strike, joined by many more Christian student organisations in mainstream institutions. The protest was not quite as centralised as one would expect. Some students were adamant that the scientists should take back their claims and stop lying to the world (or misinterpreting the truth), whilst some were determined that scientists didn’t try and contact what they believed must be troops of Satan - and yet others urged everyone to repent.

Banners were flown across the country, crying “Bring Science back to God”, “Keep Satan from our Front Door”, and the age old classic “The End is Nigh”. Authorities were over stretched to control the situation. In several institutions protest turned to civil unrest, panic and riot. Students blockaded themselves in, some blockaded science departments. In many cases the National Guard was brought in to restore order.

Spurred on by their brothers and sisters, students at UTEP took up the battle cry.

I visit Henry Wight in Wichita, Kansas, to discuss the incident. He was the Sheriff on the scene. He is a broad man, with hair that has prematurely grayed. His arms tremble, almost spilling his coffee, as he recites the events.

“The news had spread around to all the sheriff departments in the country beforehand about the planned protests. Something on that scale has to be observed and, if necessary, controlled. We all know what students can be like. So, as you would expect, there was a national response set up, to make sure nothing got out of hand and that any unrest could be effectively dealt with.

“The whole affair began with a large sit-in in the Sun Bowl Stadium. The students had set up a PA system, and there were various speakers throughout the first few days, and they’d been joined by other students and Creationists. Most of the life on campus seemed docile. Not much was going on, a few people still working about the faculties – probably normal student life really. Most of the university was practically at a stand still. On the 5^th day, a group of the students had got into the science department. The first we knew was from Adrian Pires, the University President. When we got there they’d already barricaded themselves in.

“We managed to get through some of the barricades, and arrested some of the students, but the rest were holed in quite tight. I mean nailed in. By the end of the day, we’d decided to treat it almost like a hostage situation and let them sit it out, and arrest them when they got hungry.”

Why didn’t that work?

“Some of the other students had begun supplying them, you know, food parcels and stuff.”

Couldn’t you stop them?

“We could and we did. But the students know that place like the back of their hands. We closed down one route, they opened up another. And they were getting pretty aggressive, a lot of them. They were picking up sticks, throwing missiles. We began to have a riot on our hands – one that was beginning to spread across the campus. We couldn’t hold them all. I mean, I’ve got a limited number of men. We have to arrest people, process them, keep the peace at the Sun Bowl and observe that situation. Then there’s the whole of El Paso to look after as well. I can’t just take my men off the streets. Resources were limited.”

But your men are trained for the eventuality of a riot?

“Sure, you’re trained for the eventuality of street riots, but inside? We were fighting in narrow corridors against people who’d got the advantage on us. They’d locked themselves down, devised a battle plan and found ways to resupply themselves. Besides, how many riots have you seen in El Paso over the past few years? We were under-resourced for this. On that day we knew the best policy was to let the fire burn itself out. Systematically close down their supply routes, shut off the water and wait for them to give up. We could have them in lock down, and a perimeter set up by late evening.

“Of course, it was at the end of the day that we realized what else had been smuggled in.”

Sheriff Wight drops his head and stares at his feet.

“They were just bloody students. Kids. Could have been our own.

“Adrian called me in the evening to tell me that the ROTC had been broken into, 5 minutes after one of my officers had been shot in the head! We were about to walk into a remake of fucking Taps! Now there’s a firearms situation.”

Weren’t there procedures in place to stop this from happening?

“Of course there was! But I told you, they knew this place inside out. Even the most stringent procedures would find it tough to stop a well informed, well motivated group from getting what they want. Hell, they used the training the bloody ROTC had given them! And now they were getting ready to use that training on us if necessary!”

So a group of undergraduates broke into the ROTC, stole military use hardware, and smuggled it into the department without your knowledge?

“Look, we’re police. We deal with petty arguments all the way up to riots and gang wars. We don’t deal with renegade armies, especially not ones being trained by our own fucking military!”

So you believe you dealt with every foreseeable eventuality?

“Are you kidding me? Have you not listened to what I said? The ROTC is the provision of military police. Not us. We weren’t told that it was seen to be a possible outcome.”

Even though you had a group of frightened kids, cornered away, believing they were fighting for their survival in very biblically apocalyptic times?

“Oh come on! Yes, these were kids. We knew they were frightened. But who could have predicted that some of them would be insane enough to begin to take up arms? There’s a world of difference between a protest and a war!

“That’s why the FBI and the Army National Guard were called in. That’s why it was taken out of my hands. I’m a cop, not a general. My men were ordered to fall back, to hold the perimeter, and to make sure nobody else entered. The last thing we needed to do was give them an excuse to use those guns.”

But those guns did get used.

“Yes, and that’s regrettable. The FBI and the ANG arrived, quickly taking control and setting up positions. This had gone beyond the university president’s hopes of keeping the department in tact. They needed to get in fast and get those kids disarmed and out of there. That wasn’t going to happen peacefully. They already had the blood of one of my officers on their hands. You think they’d come out nice and slowly with their hands in the air when they’d already brought themselves that far? Even they knew they were screwed. I don’t know if some of them even cared.

“We had their parents down to talk them out of it, but to no avail. One of the students parents actually said they supported their kid! Can you believe that? Yeah. They said that ‘a well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.’ The one and only time I hear the 2^nd amendment said correctly, used in a context against my men! We were being accused of perpetuating a tyrannical rule, and that these kids had a right to take up arms against us! That’s the mentality of the parents – think of the mentality of the kids!”

Within minutes of the FBI and the ANG turning up, and communications were set up, several students who didn’t want to be in there anymore were allowed out.

“At least we got them out. I think some of the guardsmen have a hard enough time sleeping as it is. I know I do.

“I just wish the others would have come out as well.”

At about 9pm the ANG attempted to enter the department. The reception was less than hospitable. 2 Guardsmen fell, with another 7 injured, as they walked into the student’s trap.

“It was horrible. The situation was deteriorating. The students had them boxed into a room and were just bombarding them. They even managed to capture 2 guardsmen. Now it was a fucking hostage situation. It’s like Beslan, only it’s the kids taking the hostages.

“But this wasn’t a normal negotiable hostage situation. Their demands could not be met. That meant we’d have a body count rising up soon. There are 2 guardsmen in there that may not be coming back out, and there’s a lot of guardsmen out here who want to make damn sure they see their buddies again. They had to be located and isolated.

“Now, locating someone behind walls is easy with thermal imaging, but isolating them inside a building of small rooms and corridors ain’t a piece of cake. The FBI couldn’t play with the ANG’s time on this. Those kids had already taken lives. To be honest, it had got well out of the FBI’s ability and jurisdiction as far as anyone was concerned. Things got so heated at our end that one of the guardsmen nearly pulled his gun at an agent. That’s not good when you’ve got a situation like this on your hands. You need total collaboration.

“The FBI had to concede control to the ANG. As far as I’m concerned there was no other way. They were the only outfit that could neutralize these kids. Remember, this wasn't some home spun WACO-style militia we were dealing with - these kids were trained by the fucking military!”

At 2am the ANG began it’s liberation of the department. As troops moved forward with armoured personnel vehicles, others began to take the rooftops. Once the rooftops were secured, they began their descent to the room containing the hostages. The operation took about an hour and a half. 7 students lay dead, having claimed the lives of another 2 guardsmen. Both hostages were liberated. Mr. Wight claims it was ‘a miracle’.

“Some of the parents were screaming and hitting my officers. It was pandemonium. We had to hold them back from trying to get in. They were screaming their kid’s names. Crying and kicking. One of the fathers punched me square in the jaw - and may have got past if it wasn’t for another officer tackling him to the ground. You must have seen the photos. The looks on their faces as they’re held back, unable to help their children. Some of the parents being arrested, because they were going to go back and get their guns. Get that? Parents threatening to go and get their guns to use them against us! Every burst of gunfire brought a new wave of panic.

“We were the bad guys that day. No doubt about it. Everyone was screaming at us to stop, but it wasn’t in our power to stop it. I’ve never felt so impotent.

“The worst part was the clean up. Finding those kids and having to bring their bodies out to their parents. I can still see their faces, still hear their folks asking me ‘why?’

"I couldn’t answer them - and I still can’t.

“Adrian was almost in tears. He was being spat on throughout it all. ‘How could you let this happen to our child?’ ‘We trusted you with our kid’s safety!’

“When it was over, he was a shadow of a man. Everyone was. Even the guardsmen came out almost crying.

“My boy was 20 at the time, over in UCLA. They’d had one of the protests over there. A civil affair, really. I’m glad he never found himself in this situation.

“I still can’t answer that question ‘why?’ - but I know I haven’t been to church since and I won’t be going again.”

The US was not the only country to suffer from anti-message protests. In the UK a group of 20 anti-message activists broke over the fence around the Lovell telescope at Jodrell bank. 10 of them chained themselves to the legs of the telescope, while the other 10 climbed up into the dish and chained themselves to the antenna. For several hours, the telescope – which had not been used for SETI purposes since 2004 and was unable, due to its latitude, to be used in communicating with the newly found ETI – was nonoperational. The largest obstacle facing the police was the safe removal of those on the dish.

Fortunately, the British activists were less militant than their American counterparts, so there were no real casualties on either side.

The demonstrators new about the latitude problem, and sent out a press statement that their protest was merely symbolic. Jodrell bank is the home of radio-astronomy, and thus the direct ancestor of the SETI programme. However, the fact that they disrupted an entire days worth of research gave them little sympathy from the wider population.

Iovandrake And The First Basic Law Of Shapes (video)

After an interesting (?) conversation with a flat Earth proponent, who tried to claim that there is no difference between reality for either a flat Earth or a spherical one, I've decided to make a short video exploring this conjecture.

Join me as we explore the first basic law of shapes and discover - magically - that shapes have different properties, and that circles and spheres are MEASURABLY different.
Who'd have thunk it?

I'm truly amazed that, in the 21st century, I have to explain something that most children learn before they even begin to talk.
It appears that geometric and mathematical illiteracy is something of a prerequisite for belief in a flat Earth.

Apologies for the sound issues at the beginning. There also appears to be some flickering with the blender animations. I'm not sure if this is just my computer or a Lightworks issue. I hope to have it sorted for the next videos. The Lightworks render seems to have a bit of a nightmare as well, sometimes.
When I did my film degree - all those years back - we were still using celluloid. I can change a film can with my eyes closed and I'm a whizz in an old style editing suite, but you crazy kids have gone all digital these days, so it's about time I had a go at it.

I've decided to upload it as it is, because I can't be bothered with the headache with Lightworks at the minute, as it seems to like crashing whenever I move the mouse.
If anybody knows how to deal with these issues - or of another program as versatile as Lightworks, but without the annoying tendency to freeze up all the time - then I'd be glad to hear from them.

Still, I hope you enjoy the video.

Music Credits:

Kevin Macleod:

Truth Of The Legend
Exotic Battle
Doh De Oh
Gone Beyond
Flighty Theme
Investigations
Harlequin
Intended Force
Open Those Bright Eyes
Fluffing A Duck

Bach:
Brandenburg Concerto #5 In D, Allegro
Brandenburg Concerto #1 In F, Allegro.

Crying "Troll"

I propose a new rule in debates and discussions:

Anyone who blithely throws around the accusation of someone being a troll, just because they disagree with them - or more likely, can't answer the points - has automatically lost the debate.


I think this is part of a more general law in debates/discussions:

The first person to call "troll" is the first person to have run out of arguments.

Beacon Of Centauri 7

Of course, the revelation of intelligent life outside the solar system had profound implications, not only for our place in the universe, but also for our self perceptions and philosophies. Father Bruno Guyez is a Jesuit Priest appointed to the Vatican Observatory. He has been kind enough to invite me to visit him and see some of the work that goes on there.

“The Catholic Church has been deeply interested in Science and in Scientific progress. The observatory has been in its present form since 1891, but the Church itself has been monitoring the skies for centuries.”

I am intrigued by how the Catholic Church accepted this news.

"The Catholic Church has debated the proposed existence of Extraterrestrial life - and it's implications - for many years. Even debating this possibility meant that we didn't find it inherently heretical. Father Gabriel Funes once said that, if they exist, “Aliens are my brother” – a far cry from what many critics thought was the actual Catholic doctrine “Aliens are my bother”.

“Of course, we wanted to make sure that the signal was verified before we made any official comments. But once it was verified, we were quite happy that this did not affect the Church’s position. Again, as Father Funes said, Extraterrestrial life does not contradict the belief in God. We were quite excited about the discovery, to tell you the truth.”

So, the church is happy to dismiss the claims of some of its critics that evidence of ETI directly contradicts the Scriptures and the Church’s beliefs – as many thought evolution did?

“Well, certainly. Just because the Bible doesn’t directly mention Aliens, doesn’t mean that God didn’t create them. Their lack of reference may be attributed to the fact that God didn’t need to mention them – they weren’t around in the creation of earth and their existence did not affect the significance of the scriptures.”

Did the Vatican (or rather does the Vatican) believe that there exists Alien forms of the Christian faith?

“That is all speculatory. For one thing, it has been proposed that Alien life forms may be free from sin, and thus not need salvation, like man. Though, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t believe in God. We are sure though, that God would be manifest in the lives of all intelligent beings around the Universe.”

Was there ever (or is there ever) a proposal for an evangelisitic mission to Alien worlds.

“Where it is perceived that our Alien brothers have fallen from Grace, it would be our duty to show them back to the light.”

What would your view be of the position of certain Christian movements, that Christ may have appeared on other world’s to die for their Sins?

“There is no mention in the Bible of any such events.”

But does it correspond to the Church’s position?

“No. The official position was summed up by Father Funes – ‘Jesus became man once and for all. The incarnation is a singular and unique event.’ This doesn’t discount that our Alien brother’s can share in God’s mercy and grace.”

It certainly seems no leap of faith to go from believing in Angels to believing in Aliens. But how does the Catholic Church feel about the views of groups (Christian and non-Christian) who advance ideas that the Bible refers to Aliens visiting the Earth in the Past – for instance, the famous claim that Elijah’s ascent to heaven is synonymous with an Alien abduction/collection.

“I think you’ll find that neither ourselves, nor the secular scientific community take these claims with any degree of seriousness.”

I have also been invited to speak to Archbishop Christopher Davies, head of the Anglican Church, in England, to talk about a protestant view of ETI.

I ask him the same questions about the different theories surrounding the Christian faith regarding ETI – those theories about Christ having appeared to Aliens as their saviour.

“Alright, let’s say that he did, but it isn’t in the Bible because it bears no significance to humanity - or he is still to do so, and we may ourselves be a part of that story. Maybe he doesn’t have to because they are without fault. They are many possible scenarios.

“The first, as I say, bares no significance to humanity, just as our salvation bares no significance to them. The Second possibility just means that we have to continue doing God’s work and living in his Love, so that we can be used by him to illuminate his love. The Third possibility means that they will help illuminate Gods Love for us and help us know how to live in Him.”

Eager to know more about other religious responses to the discovery of the signal, I meet up with the Secretary General and Chair of the Muslim Council of Britain’s European and International Affairs Committee, Sir Nadim Said.

“The Islamic faith is certainly not one of those you would feel to be undermined by the evidence of Extraterrestrial life. In the Quran it is written, ‘...among His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and whatever corporeal creatures that He has dispersed throughout them. He is able to gather them together, whenever He wills.’ So, in fact, the Islamic faith predicted that we would find other beings, on other worlds.

“We have no problems like the Christian faith did, with whether they have been saved. We believe that all intelligent beings would have their own prophets, their own Guides, and would be party to the spiritual journey of the universe as we all are.”

The Islamic faith’s ability to cope with the revelation without any major upheaval or debate is quite possibly down to some of its key principles. It was - and remains, despite the portrayal of some of its more radical followers - a religion born out of understanding and reasoning. Some of the early Islamic empires were among the most advanced of their era. Faith and Scientific reasoning have definitely gone hand in hand.

Was there ever any question of outreaching to ETI?

“Certainly, we would want to meet them, and to be able to exchange views. But we would not be surprised as to what we found there in terms of religion.”

I was also invited to speak with the Sephardi Chief Rabbi in Jerusalem, Isaac Meir, to help shed light on the reaction of Judaism to the discovery.

“Judaism didn’t have a big problem with the discovery. For many of us the position was, ‘well lets just see it when it’s proved.’ The Jewish faith is far more interested in the soul than questions of outer space. We feel that there is so much to explore within our own humanity. That said, we had no problem with the thought that God created life outside Earth and that he loved it. We can’t exactly tell God what to create or what to Love.

“I think you will find that this is the reaction of most religions around the world. Though we may have differing faiths and pray in different ways, it is humanity’s spiritual journey that concerns us. That journey is not altered by the surprises in God’s creation, but enhanced by them. When Columbus found the Americas, God was not shaken from the heavens and man’s faith was not weakened.”

So you would say that, though your faith is more 'humanity centered', it is not disturbed by the presence of ETI?

“Why should it be? We believe we are God’s people, loved by him. When a new species of life is found on Earth, are we disturbed? It is a poor religion that crumbles, or trembles in fear, because of such things. They are just fearful of God’s creation and not enjoying the beautiful experience he has given them.”

I know that before the discovery, Israel was still reeling from the Wailing Wall bombing. Do you think that the revelation changed the political climate in the middle east?

“Extremists will always be extremists. What happened there was a great tragedy – one of many that has long plighted this land. The bombing itself was condemned by all religious leaders in Israel. Although we live in a turbulent region, the mainstream religious groups have begun to learn to get along. The revelation didn’t bridge any rifts, but I think some bridges were strengthened by the profoundness of the revelation. There was a realisation among some of the populous that man cannot go on squabbling against man.”

Beacon Of Centauri 6

 

Another advisory body set up in the wake of the discovery (though later, after the visuals were presented) was the International Commission for the Analysis of Extraterrestrial Military Hardware. Obviously, this was not the most popular of any advisory body in the public eye (which is one reason why it seldom was), though for good argument it was deemed a necessity. It had one important distinction from any other advisory committee. It gave its evidence straight to the UN Security Council's Permanent Members. This was because, although it was agreed that all knowledge of ETI should be made public and easily accessible, there were still concerns that the wrong kind of military hardware research in the wrong hands could lead to disastrous consequences.

Some have pointed out that the Permanent Members are coincidentally the largest arms manufacturers and dealers in the world, and that this is the real reason for the decision.

General Tod Mullins chairs the body.

He is a very difficult man to get to meet, as one would assume. However, he is gracious enough to allow me to interview him at his office in New York, mostly because the UN has deemed my documentation of this time to be of utmost historical importance.

He is a very tall, slender gentleman, now on the edge of his fifties. His face is constantly stern, but not aggressive, yet one cannot help but feel a slight intimidation in his presence. He strikes me very much as a man who doesn't mince his words, and who expects the same courtesy.

Before his posting here, he was involved in the UN peace keeping force in Afghanistan. He is a man of distinction earning many of the highest citations of Her Majesty's Armed Forces.

"Before we begin, I have to remind you that there are matters of grave international security involved in this subject. I am obliged, therefore, not to tell you everything you may wish to know - you understand?"

I'm shrinking inside already. But I manage an "of course".

"I hope that's ok, then," he replies with a slight grin, and slightly friendlier face. I take it that means I won't be fed to then Lions then, and get on with the interview.

I ask him if he could shed any light on how much of a threat we could have been in, if ETI proved hostile.

"Well, that question really doesn't apply. Although we were separated by 4 and a half years of information, we were separated by millenia of physical travel time by either party leaving for the other at that time, unless one of us found new ways to cross the cosmos. That's really the point of our commission. We had hoped that by careful study of ETI we would be sufficiently equal to, or even in advance of them by the time we actually crossed paths. Neither of us constituted much of a physical threat for probably the next few centuries, give or take the sudden jump in technological maturity.

"We're not certain if they knew we were here, but all evidence points against it. Certainly they didn't seem to be listening for us when we found them. So we may have had the advantage of them. We, in fact, may have proved the advanced civilisation if we met up.

"We certainly didn't see the need to rush into making contingency defence plans anywhere in the too near future."

There is a question burning on my lips since the start of the interview, but I suppress it for now, and instead inquire as to what we learnt about their military structure.

"We did perceive an order of hierarchical society, which came as no surprise. It's pretty much a given for any civilisation to even appear. Their military size was unobtainable, but the population was deemed around 8 billion. How many of these were in the military, and whether they formed a single planetary military structure beyond the tentative peace keeping force of the UN is unknown. Not enough information was gained. We know they had armed forces capabilities on Land, Air and Sea, and were involved in Space exploration, like ourselves.

"We got some information on the soldiers of the ETI group we researched - their ground force troops. The were using projectiles, very much similar to our own, and had begun to commission the use of laser rifles - denoting that their laser technology was superior to our own.

"The Air force, too, seemed a step ahead, using different fuel reserves, and modelling of aircraft. However, it was the size of the ships in the Navy that impressed us. They dwarfed our largest carriers by a factor of 5."

I have no idea how much of this is the whole truth. The General strikes me as the ultimate poker player. I can imagine heads of state and high echelon civil servants quaking in his presence.

I tell him I'm curious if we knew anything about ETI's nuclear, chemical or biological capabilities.

"The biological would have taken time to figure out. Chemical weapons I cannot fully disclose without more analysis of the information. ETI was definitely adept with nuclear power though."

Again, I'm sure there's something missing here. Everything in this interview seems to be too concise. But that is to be expected with the nature of the intelligence.

I can't hold it in, I have to ask. Can you give us any examples of technologies we have obtained and manufactured from the analysis of ETI?

"I'm afraid that is classified at this time."

Frustrating, but understandable. No advance on weapons, aircraft modelling, ship design, or even armour to report back.

Fortunately the General is not offended by my inquisitiveness, and I'm invited to ask another question, before his busy schedule returns.

Obviously the Security Council is, sensibly, made up of powerful nations who don't always have each other’s interests at heart. What was it like working with the friction of that environment?

"Many thought that the sharing of this information between us would help the balance of power. To act as a detente.

"Things aren't always so simple. There was a lot of suspicion of the potential applications. A lot of security clearance protected treaties were drawn up and beaten out. That would come as no surprise to anyone who thought sensibly. The permanent members do not bicker as much as you might see the General Assembly do. Hands are laid on the table, people's positions carefully viewed and reviewed. We've long realised that heated words have little place in the Security Council. Even China has realised that - perhaps them most of all. Of everyone, it was the French who were the most difficult. As an Englishman, I've come to expect and even admire that low simmering suspicion between us all. It keeps us on our feet, and stops us making mistakes - which gives us valuable lessons that we can teach the other nations in conflict resolution.

"This tension will not die away just because we found Intelligence outside our solar system.”

There's a lot of work to be done before the military institutions of our planet, and their governments, agree to form a collaborative effort beyond the current scope of the UN.

"We've agreed on temporary treaties, with clauses for their review and amendment over certain time periods. I'd say we're 99.9% certain that none of us has any intention of using anything we may have discovered from our recent research into ETI's technology on each other in the foreseeable future."

He's spotted the hidden question on my lips, and answered it like a professional soldier, and a professional UN peace keeping officer. 'Don't panic, we have it all under control'. Though whether this will comfort those who fear the exploitational and somewhat sinister nature of the arms industry is very much in doubt.